My working life ended at January until now. I haven't got any though of searching for a job, it doesn't mean that I am lazy. I fulfill all my remaining times, everyday back from breakfast, none stop of doing the things I love. I love handcraft, that it. It is depressed, because there is nothing I wanted to do besides this. I got dreams, I wanted to make the dreams come true. I planned everything, after contract end. I do not give myself rest, did a lot of survey regarding which place is the best to learn coffee art. I've asked everything, about accomodation, fees... but at the end I got responses for my parents. They suggested me to go a full time job instead of going for what I like. ..

It is upset, when u planned everything, and ur plan just got interrupted by the most concern family. I put family as my first priority instead of myself. I love them more then myself. They said, I have a high education level, and is good to go for a better job at outside. Is been awhile, I feel depressed. The mood was like, better, bad...moody... hopeless...lost.... I got no idea what I want, and now, should I just go for what I love and what I want? Or I should listen to them? Too much of expectation drive me breathless... I wish that I can go for what I want instead of what they want... But I care them... when they say "no", it mean NO. no turning point.

What I am doing is basically can't earn much, but it is what I love the most... I got no idea, why I am not working, but the pressure is like even heavy then previous job. If I get back to work, what will it be?

When I was 18, I worked for my dad. The accountant do not willing to teach me, so I decided to go for studies. After study, I wanted to step back to the same environment and end up with, U got a Bachelor on hand, should go looking for a better job... I mean.... why study bring pressure for life? I though study is good for knowledge? But I spoiled my happiness with my own hand.... I got too much expectation, and I turn my dreams in grave. ... Nothing to do with dreams anymore... I started to live for them, do what they want... ignore my feeling... be a good daughter... cheers... :(